Chick-Fil-A is the epitome of overhyped trash. Just because they don’t berate you about extra ketchup packets, and flood you with “my pleasure”, doesn’t mean they deserve your underlying praise.
In this edition of Fight Me Friday, I’m going to give you the run down on why Chick-Fil-A is low key garbage.
Do you fuckers know how many other chicken places exist? KFC’s crispy chicken tenders are half the price of Chick-Fil-A’s, and they’re greasier and even more delicious. Not only that, have you heard of a KFC $5 fill-up bucket?
If you’re a hater of KFC – don’t forget there’s Bojangles, Church’s Chicken, and Popeyes. Again, all of them give you way more food at a much cheaper price.
Getting Berated For Extra Ketchup Packets Builds Character
A big reason people flock to Chick-Fil-A is that they’d rather pay a bit extra to be treated like an actual human. But let me tell you something, there’s nothing more humbling than being served like a second-class citizen for wanting more condiments.
They’re Almost Always Packed
When’s the last time you walked inside of a Chick-Fil-A and they weren’t packed to the bone? Exactly. They’re always filled, and they’re always busy. All the fast food joints down the street from you barely have anybody in their lobby. And when they do, it’s usually a couple of nice homeless bums, who may or may not harrass you to buy their knockoff necklaces.
Don’t even get me started with the children either. There’s nothing quite like taking a bite of your crispy nuggets to the sound of Jimmy shitting himself and screaming bloody mary.
Having To Hear “My Pleasure” Every Five Seconds Makes Me Want To Jump Inside Of A Gargabe Disposal
We get it, they’re trained to be polite. And don’t get me wrong, it’s cool every once and a while to hear somebody be nice to you. But they always overdo it. I once had a cashier say “My Pleasure” ten times in one transaction (yes I counted.) Come on man.
It’s like that thirsty guy who’s been trying to get with your sister for months. The first or second time he complimented her, she probably was flattered. By the fortieth time, she has your family lawyer faxing the restraining order to the municipal courts.
No, I Don’t Care That They Give Their Employees Sunday Off
When did we get so soft that we can act as if them giving Sunday off for their employees is some extraordinary act? I guarantee there are people out there who will gladly take an extra Sunday shift here and there if it means getting a little more money in their pocket.
Not only that.. the only times I ever really feel like getting Chick-Fil-A, guess what day it is?
Final Word: Get Off Chick-Fil-A’s D****
Look, I’ll admit it, Chick-Fil-A sounds appetizing every one in a blue moon. But please, stop hyping them up like they’re the next coming of Jesus. They’re an average fast-food restaurant that overdoes it on their compliments – don’t get it twisted.